"I'm just going to buy this condom"

"It must be pretty weird for you holding those condoms considering that

we both know where they are going to end up"

"I'm Scubahood!"

"I'm wearing tight pants, tight pants, I'm wearing tight pants."

"I steal from the poor and give to the rich"

"Tom Green Show...Tom Green Show...Tangerine...Tangerine show...Corn on the Cob"

"My parents really like sluts and lesbians"

"You don't like the Slutmobile?"

"Dad, don't be embarrassed in front of the neighbors, it's just your slutmobile"

"I'm sorry mom, I thought you liked sluts and lesbians"

"You're all just a bunch of English Hooligans!"

"So these are all monkey skeletons? Yeah?"

"You can't see me 'cause I'm wearing camouflage"

"I don't think you should be calling the ref an idiot"

"Plastic bag, plastic bag, i got a plastic bag, plastic bag"

"This is a message from Don Corlioni."

"My weapon will be award winning singer/songwriter Jewel"

"Help me hump the moose, maybe we can revive it'

"I'm holdin your arm, holdin your arm, I'm holdin your arm, holdin your arm."

"Can you hold up a bank with butter"

'Did you Army use butter to fight the war in the Gulf "

"Glenn is too good to be in the studio with us."

"Do you drink Mountain Dew?"

"My bum is on the plant"

This reminds me of a goat i used to know"

"Now it's time for a little observational humor."

"Do you like the way I dance?  Do you like the way I dance?"